I write about a lot of different things, but mainly satire and reported pieces on the weird and obscure. Check it out below!

Atlas Obscura

What It's Like to Be a Haunted House Worker Inside a Real Prison
The Tantalizing Mystery of The Toynbee Tiles

The Big Jewel

I Tried To Kill Myself Ten Months Ago And I'm Still Stuck Under The Bridge Please Someone Cut Me Down


I Was 20 When I Found A Lump in My Breast


Zigmund Adamski’s Body Ended Up On A Pile Of Coal Covered In Bizarre Burn Marks
Over 200 Lobotomies Were Performed In This Haunted Asylum Without Anesthesia Or An Operating Room
Awesome Halloween Tattoos For The Spooky Sect


How a Himalayan Salt Lamp Calmed My Anxiety and Stopped My Day Murders
‘She’s Probably on Her Period,’ Says Man Who Had A Car Lifted Off of Him By Woman
How to Be a Sex Goddess Even When Your Foot is Stuck in a Hole in His Mattress
How to Keep Your Cool When Your Kneecaps Come Off During a Date
3 Tips for Washing Off That Summer Body Paint Before Work
How to Come to Terms With His Garbage Crotch
My Boyfriend Started Wearing Sunglasses on the Back of His Head
How to Tell Your Friend You Don’t Want To Be In Her Orgy
Woman Wonders What They’ve Been Building Here For The Past Six Years
What to do When You're an Orthopedic Surgeon and Your Crush is Texting You
'I Want My MTV!' and 5 Other Phrases to Soothe Your Old-Ass Boyfriend
Woman Completes Final Student Loan Payment, Promptly Turns Into a Beam of Light, Floats Away
Woman Patiently Waiting for Menopause to Try White Jeans
4 Things to Yell Over the Sound of Your Tampon Wrapper Opening
How to Put Spaces Between Words to Make You Seem Like a F r e e S p i r i t

Robot Butt

Unable to Repay My Debt, I Turned to the Mole People for Support

The Washington Post's Apartment Showcase

5 Ways to Survive a Major Move
How to Throw a Prohibition Themed Party in Your Apartment
I Had No Idea My Apartment Didn’t Come with Toilet Paper
Indoor Activities for Kids

weekly humorist

We Regret to Inform You That We Have Rejected Your Job Application From Our Pop-Up Halloween Store (in The Old Kmart)


I Lost My Best Friend to an Undiagnosable Disease 


I Lost My Best Friend to an Undiagnosable Disease (Yahoo)